Dumbest questions you've been asked whiile DJing

[dj-mike-biggz]

OK, I've spun @clubs, private events, house parties etc. and over that time I've had people ask me some really odd, stupid, and annoying questions.
This of course comes with the territory and for the most part can't be avoided unless you have a big enough barrier to block you from being bothered or just have a good old fashion "no requests" sign. Talking about this subject is funny especially with other DJ's, so I'm asking everyone on here who spins, what's the lamest thing someone has asked you while your trying to get your mix on.

For my personal one's
"Can you play something with rhythm?"
Song playing at the time "Cars" by Gary Newman

"Can I look though your crates?"

"Can I scratch the record"

"Can you play Missy?" ME: "I just played it like 30 seconds ago"
"well can you play it agian?"

"Can you play something faster?"

These are just a few.

[DJ Enki]

I get people requesting Madonna a lot, which I don't quite understand. When did Madonna become hip-hop, funk, or soul?

It's always funny when people request "something funky" when a James Brown record is playing.

Thugged-out middle-class crackers sure do want you to play Mobb Deep a lot.

My word on DJing at a house party: When they come up and start requesting Tupac, that's my cue to leave. Funny thing about Tupac requesters: they refuse to believe I don't have the records. That's pretty much my standard response to all bad requests, "Sorry, I don't have that record with me," but people requesting Tupac can't quite fathom somebody NOT owning any Tupac records. They'll come up five more times like, "C'mon, man, play some Tupac for me." "I swear to god I don't have any Tupac records with me. I don't even OWN any Tupac records. I couldn't play Tupac if I wanted to." Gah.

[realistic]

dumbest question, "do they still make those things", talkin about records...... i'll just leave it at that

[steve o]

can you play something i can dance to (the floor is jumping)

do you have that one song with that female vocal with the bass drum that goes whoompa whoompa whoomp

can you turn it down a bit? i cant talk on my cell phone.

How about some skynard? (no.) Ok how about james brown is dead? (what?)


why do you need a monitor?

can you do my wedding?

and the list goes on and on...

[tjrectngle]

"I swear to god I don't have any Tupac records with me. I don't even OWN any Tupac records. I couldn't play Tupac if I wanted to."

That happend to me at the last party i spun at... luckily i had picked up 2pacs "i get around" and diffused that situation early in the night before i had the tempo upbeat.

Which leads into my next thing which is getting asked to play a song thats going to kill the vibe/tempo of the set. For instance i was spinning out at a club and some hard core thugs were going to hear G Deps "Special Delivery" or else. So being the skinny white boy DJ that tries to play a little bit of everything for everyone (and not offend 'tha gangstaz') i put it on and watched the dance floor disappear and turn into a thug circle full of doo-rag twirling wankstas.

[illcos]

ain't nothing but a wanksta party.


i've gotten asked to play r kelly right after the whole scandal thing was boiling up at a party; luckilly i don't have that - do you want to hear gary glitter instead? heh, the great 'can you play some hip-hop comment?' while 'radio attack' by prefuse is blaring.


oh, and as far as madonna joints - that is quite popular to put down in the middle of any set now, maybe as much as incorporating rock breaks into sets. it does not surprise me people ask for it now.

[DJ Enki]

Originally posted by illcos

oh, and as far as madonna joints - that is quite popular to put down in the middle of any set now, maybe as much as incorporating rock breaks into sets. it does not surprise me people ask for it now.

Well, people have been asking for it for years. I think the real issue is that I'll sometimes play a Michael Jackson song or two, and they figure, "Oh, well if he's playing Michael Jackson, he must be down to play pop, and if he's down to play pop, he must have a whole shitload of Madonna to play!" I was just discussing this with another DJ a couple weeks ago, actually: Michael Jackson is a slippery slope. Yes, his early records are great, but playing them at a party can invite all sorts of unwanted consequences, such as this Madonna phenomenon. You have to be very careful about which crowd you play MJ to and how you present it. If they understand that it's just another funky beat, fine. But if they take it to mean this is going to become an '80s pop-fest or something...problems. At least it's problems for me, because I don't play '80s music (MJ and a few others excepted, of course).

Kind of a shame, too. Back when I was doing 3-hour sets, it was helpful to be able to throw on "Wanna Be Starting Something" to pick the crowd back up when they started lagging (and also because I have a money mix for it--Peanut knows what I'm talking about). It's a handy tool for easily keeping the energy up. But because of that slippery slope, I find myself looking for alternatives a lot of the time.

[loveakashetrip]

this thread reminded me of a story.....

October 30, 2002....

The roomie and I travel to see Z spin in Pontiac Michigan.....

A prominently rock driven crowd overpowers the feel of the night.....Laurah and I squeeze our way through the mosh pit to hear Z's set and are enlightened (no surprise right?)

So then HED (pe) goes on and we retreat to the merch tables......this guy sits down next to me and starts staring at me...so I'm like "hey" and he looks at me.....pupils all dialated crazy like....and says....."hi, what's your name, where are you from, how old are you, what's your favorite color, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" (yeah it was all asked that fast ) so.....he's totally confused that I'm not there to see HED like he is....we talk for a few about who I'm there to see.....and I ask over and over again "what are you on?!??!?" at first he says "I've just had a few drinks" but after some prodding he says" Extacy......my friend gave me a pill, this is my first time" I tell him I feel sorry for him....and tell him to stay away from the people beating the hell out of one another near the stage...... So anyway.....he goes on and on (kind of like I am now) and after asking me what kind of undies I wear (which I politely declined to answer) he goes on to tell me that he likes to wear silky thongs. This is where our conversation ends...... BUT! as Laurah and I stand outside with Josh......he comes stumbling out of the venue...walks right up to Josh and says "are you DJ EZ Trip?" EasyTrip?!?!?!? damn extacy......affecting your memory.... we all have a good laugh and walk away....(ok run)

anyway.....the whole stupid question thing prompted this post.....thanks for listening

[phusion]

(mumbling cause of too many pills)
"can yoo playyyyy summmm paullll oooakenfffffff ffffoldd?"

[PeanuT]

heh heh, did you ever play smack the raver?

[realistic]

smack the raver? tell me more......

[pan!k]

here it goes....

guys-----
"can you play regge"?
" do you have any ice cube"?
"can you do a juggle?"
how do you do that?

girls----
can you teach me?
that looks hard...is it hard?
i wanna try....
do you have dru hill?
play some trina

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! let me do my thing!

[Z-TRIP]

Originally posted by phusion
(mumbling cause of too many pills)
"can yoo playyyyy summmm paullll oooakenfffffff ffffoldd?"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
(breaths in)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
(again)

hahahahahaha


that's the winner right there!

ok my 2 cents..( actually I have about 56 dollars and 78 cents worth.. but here's a few bangers).

Girl comes up to me, goes to put hand down on tuntable that is spinning... out of the corner of my eye i catch her doing this just in time to save us all from a big SHREEK..that would have killed the floor dead and had everyone looking at me with blank faces.

AND SAYS TO ME...

"Can you play track 8 from the new Nelly CD"

I'm like " track 8??"...realizing I don't have time to explain.."sure" I tell her...

now even though I have CDJ's up there..doesn't mean I'm gonna know what "track 8" is on any given cd, period.

thank god she didn't have a list...

"I'd like track 2 from this and track 4 from that..oh and tracks 7,8, and 9 from this... in that order...blah, blah.."


ok..and here's a good one.

Will you just let the record play...!!

how about this one.. I got this on a note once..

(public enemy playing in the background)
Will you play some rap or hip hop...??

and then there's the guy or girl who wants to talk to you while you are spinning..

(in the middle of a difficult mix)

"HEY (in a loud club voice) HOW YOU DOING? WHAT'S UP?
MY FRIEND SAW YOU PLAY AT THIS SHOW IN OHIO.... HE SAID IT WAS COOL...SO YOU LIKE IT OUT HERE...WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON...."

That shit is the worst...
cause you want to catch up with 'em
but you are knee deep in it..and they aren't knowing ..and you can't blame them for not knowing..so you just gotta roll with it...


damn....



"can i sing happy birthday on the mic to my friend?


Z

[PeanuT]

Originally posted by realistic
smack the raver? tell me more......

it was basically a flash cartoon where there was this dancy candy raver girl who said reeeally stupid shit like "i think... paul oakenfold... is the COOLEST DJ" and "my boyfriend just went to get me some water.... can I have a drink of YOUR water?" and you can click on her to punch her in the face. click as fast as you want, and its just beating the shit out of an E-tard. Sometimes she dodges and it was humorous for a while... I really dont remember where I found it at. I'll holler if it springs up again.

-=PeanuT

[DJ Enki]

Originally posted by Z-TRIP

"can i sing happy birthday on the mic to my friend?

Oh, fuck, I forgot about that one. Basically, anybody from the crowd asking for the mic is bad news.

[djsaggybm]

This past saturday I doing a party. The people only rented the hall until midnight. I was only playing until midnight (unless more $$ was thrown my way). I close out with a couple slow songs for some drunks to get their groove on.
Baam Midnight.
Lights come on.
Floor Empty's.
Drunk dude comes up to me. " I know we have to go. But can you throw on one more song?" Can't man, I'm packing up. "No seriously can you play one more?" Can't dude, I gotta get up outta here, why what did you want to hear? "Oh I don't know, I just wanted to keep dancing."

I hate the Birthday Requests. Nobody cares. I started off a party with, "Do we have any birthdays in the House?" Screams......ah.,,,ohhh,,...Me,.............."Grea t, Happy Birthday, I just wanted to get those out of the way."

dj sag

[Will]

I had some drunk girl come up to me and ask me to play Nelly "Hot in Here" I just had to laugh at her and say no. The worst are people that ask what record you are playing everytime you drop a new cut. Or people that want to have a conversation while your trying to mix. I just wanna say "Fuck off I'm trying to mix here!!"

Will

[dj-mike-biggz]

scary responces y'all, but sadly I can relate to almost all.

Can I sing happy birthday....I spun at this hip-hop club and some kid asked if I could let him "Bust a flow"...yeah these kids really want to stop dancing so they can hear the future thug emcee de-virginize himself. I don't mind if people come up and talk to me but people need to have a time limit. save those convo's for afterwords. Drunk and high ass people are the worst, mostly casue they just don't get it so they won't leave you alone.

Last night I did this party for this dot com company and things went well but I forgot my all time DJ pet peave, when you throw on a song your sure will make the crowd go nuts and they clear the floor...ouch!

Here was the super lame question of the night. This girl comes up to me smelling like she put her perfume on with a spray paint can, asking me if I have Donna Summer's " Hot Throb"
Me: I think you mean "Hot Stuff" and yes I do have it
Her: No I'm sure it's Hot Throb"
Me: Trust me I'm right, it's "Hot Stuff"
Her: Okay well my two girlfriends are going to have a dance competition and they want to do it to that song. There names are (I can't remember the names). When you play it could you announce them and mention that they are about to face off.
Me: (inside I'm thinking go away you perfume is making me cry) reality I say just to get her away, "sure" And of course when I play it I naturally forget as did she being that she never returned.

Just thought I'd add that.

[illcos]

'hot throb' - hahaha, excellent.

[Diosa]

My all time fav is...

I am playing a party and a guy comes up to me....

Guy - "Hey do you mind if I look through your crate"

Me - "No, be my guest"

a couple of minutes later he taps me on the shoulder holding a few of my records..

Guy - "Hey let me get in here so I can play these"

Me - "Yeah, right"

Guy - "Well, then let me scratch"

Me again - "YEAH RIGHT"

Guy pointing to the mixer - "Bitch, if I was playing I would smoke you cause all those little knobs would be all over the place."

Me - "Well, go home and twist your own fucking knobs"

Guy as he is leaving and flipping me off - "YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH"


Then there's the typical...

"Wow, I have never seen a girl DJ before! Did your boyfriend teach you?"

[Wizdum]

Originally posted by PeanuT



it was basically a flash cartoon where there was this dancy candy raver girl who said reeeally stupid shit like "i think... paul oakenfold... is the COOLEST DJ" and "my boyfriend just went to get me some water.... can I have a drink of YOUR water?" and you can click on her to punch her in the face. click as fast as you want, and its just beating the shit out of an E-tard. Sometimes she dodges and it was humorous for a while... I really dont remember where I found it at. I'll holler if it springs up again.

-=PeanuT

you asked for it smack the raver

ok that ones dead.. took some searching but here it is

smack the raver, for real though

[scrapplequeen]

The examples of retarded people on this thread make me want to lock myself in a closet
with some books and music and never come out. God bless yall for dealing with this shit on
the daily. Oh, Diosa... if I had to deal with that dude you were talking about, he'd have a broken
nose. I HATE that shit.

[SoEasy]

Since we're sharing.........
I used to do alot of mobiles in High School and College.
Needless to say I saw tons of crazy stuff, especially at Weddings.
Intro Wedding party......Yaaaayyyyyyy Ladies and Gentlemen I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Arnold. Wwwooooooowwhoooooooo. Crowd goes wild.
In walks the unhappily married, somewhat hickish couple. I say this because the Groom was wearing Cowboy boots and drinkin' beer outta the pitcher while being greeted by everyone as they stumbled into the hall together. They arrive at the middle of the dance floor to thank everyone and as a quiet falls over the room. He proceeds to shout to his soon to be ex-wife. Over a live PA so that everyone may hear. Give me the mic bitch, your just gonna be makin' babies for me from now on so you don't need to talk to noone.


Shortest marriage I've ever seen.

Then there is always the Bride making out with the Best Man in the back hallway where the DJ brings in his equipment. Surprise, surprise...

[Fishr Pryce]

hey Z do you know where the restroom is
hey Z can i steal your records while your mixing
hey Z is the moon really made of green cheese

[Frank Spinatra]

It's kinda off topic but last wednesday at the club this guy was really drunk and my friend was in the middle of a mix. The guy falls on the monitors so my friend just put his headphones down and grabbed the guy by the collar and not so graciously escorted him out of the club. He came back and finished the mix.

You know you're a drunken retard when the DJ kicks you out of the club himself.

[PeanuT]

You know you're a drunken retard when the DJ kicks you out of the club himself.

thats beautiful

[Z-TRIP]

I could do this for hours!!!

HA HA..

Z

Who's next?

[HEXISM]

Ha!

Frank Spinatra and Vinyl Ritchie regulating with a quickness!

Homeboy got his ass dragged out retro style!!


Big-ups selecta's!!!!!

HEX

[DEUCE]

I'm surprised none of you mentioned people coming up to you and saying ...
- dosen't that "scratch" up the record?!
- Aww man, I can do that stuff.

Originally posted by Will
r people that want to have a conversation while your trying to mix. I just wanna say "Fuck off I'm trying to mix here!!"

You should wear this while your mixing... http://www.superdance.com/product.as...9-063823640365

[Diosa]

Oh, Diosa... if I had to deal with that dude you were talking about, he'd have a broken nose

Yeah, for some reason I have come across a few guys who think that they can punk me and kick me off the decks. I have literally had guys try and push me out of the way right in the middle of my set. They act like "The king of all DJ's has arrived now little girl you can be on your way" One guy even unplugged my headphones so he could plug his in...right in the middle of a mix.

Of course, with my big ass mouth they learn pretty quick that shit doesn't fly with me.

[DJFerrari]

Ha! These are hilarious. I used to spin parties in college, and one time I did a sorority event. I had FIVE! girls tell me to go home because I sucked! I apologized for not bringing my N'SYNC records with me. I also had one drunk chick run up to the table and actually knock it over. I managed to catch everything on the way down, but it was still quite traumatic for me!

I had one girl request the song I was playing at the time once. That was retarded. I love it too when people are like, 'let me try yo.' Oh sure, be my guest. in fact, why don't you just take over and take my records and turntables home with you. Oh, and why don't I come by your job tomorrow and start doing it for you. Wouldn't that be nice!

Shibby,
DJ Ferrari

[illcos]

if someone requests a song while it's playing, it should be fare game that you are allowed to ask them to make a request while they are making a request. i think they'd just become so confused that their brain would fill with fluid and they'd fall over into the fetal position.

[tjrectngle]

"are you DJ EZ Trip?"

Didnt that guy used to play with DJ TRadar? Its cool he's finally kinda doing his own solo thing without the help of his bumbshelter DJs. Hahaha

I remembered someone posting a thread like that when i first got on this board and Z flipped out. Funniest shit ive seen all night.

[J-prime]

On the flipside, I hate it when people request something dope and I don't have it with me.

[TheTornado]

In response to J-Prime, I hate it when that happens. But most people around here don't know good electronic music. I usually play at punk shows before/in between bands, so during my techno/house set I'll scratch in some Minor Threat or Chain of Strength to keep everyone interested. Also, everyone here has a HUGE Andrew WK fix so I bought his "I Get Wet" album on vinyl today, and I'm sure everyone will go off when that gets thrown down. I also throw in some hip-hop, IE Beastie Boys, Jurassic 5. Most people I've DJed for are respectful, but my most hated question is "Is that hard?" A) Yes. B It's even harder with you talking to me, now piss off. Or "Can I scratch?". Do I come up to you and ask you to play a solo when your playing guitar? Jesus H. Christ. However, the most pleasent question is "Dude, can I get a tape?". I love that.